It’s Not Too Late
By Alisha Renee
I yelled. Like really yelled. This was definitely not one of my finest parenting moments. Built up frustration burst like a dam, spewing a torrent of words I didn’t even know were brewing. And I felt ashamed. What a mess.
I know that not everyone reading this is a parent, but I reckon I’m pretty spot on in assuming everyone reading this will have said something they’ve regretted at some point in their lives, and in a way that was not OK—hurtful even. This was one of those moments.
As the dust settled on our argument, the familiar sense of shame and self-condemnation rose to mock all my efforts to become a godly mother who reflects Christ. I felt like an imposter, trying to be someone I could never hope to be, and I feared that I had ruined the connection I had worked so hard to build. But then I heard it—that whisper. It’s always there, and it faithfully rises until its crescendo drowns out the voice of shame—Grace.
‘I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.’ (1)
I read this once, and it has stayed with me, like a faithful friend. These words echo the heart of our Father who says,
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
This was undoubtedly one of my weak moments.
These words of grace are a blanket of comfort that soothe my soul. When I am wrapped in this grace, the voice of condemnation can’t edge its way in. When I am no longer conversing with shame, I can converse with the Holy Spirit and ask, ‘What do I do now? Please help me.’ And He always does.
Holding the hands of grace and humility, I approached my daughter’s room with a loosely rehearsed speech. I knew I needed to make it right, I just wasn’t sure of the best way to do that. As I listened to her vent, I mentally crumpled up the speech I had prepared. I had nothing. Yet, in that moment, I felt a leading—a peace, a calm. I knew what needed to be done. I apologised with no excuses and with no pointing out the fault on her part. I was about to, but I had a strong sense from the Holy Spirit that what I had said was enough. Anyone who knows me well will know that this is unusual for me. My norm is to fluff around with my words, sometimes repeating myself over and over, or reframing what I have said until I’m sure it has been heard and understood. Not this time. It was such a clear impression that once I had listened, once my apology had been given, and once I had acknowledged that my daughter’s insight was accurate, that was enough.
‘If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.’
James 1:5 (NIV)
Connection matters to our Father. Restorating relationships and reconnecting with others matters to Him. Self-condemnation and pride will get in the way of reconnection and restoration, but as we hold the hands of grace and humility, the Holy Spirit will lead us with His wisdom. There is always a route back to reconnection, and He knows the way.
PROMPT: Reflect on any recent moments where you may have done some damage with careless words. It’s not too late to make it right. Reach for the hands of grace and humility, and ask God for His wisdom.
PRAYER: Father, I don’t always know how to make things right when I’ve messed up. But I’m not going to listen to the voice of fear or shame telling me it’s too late; I’m going to listen to Your voice. Show me when I need to speak, and when I need to stay silent; when I need to act, and when I need to wait. I trust You to lead me.
(1) From: Grace, Not Perfection: Embracing Simplicity, Celebrating Joy. (2016). Written by Emily Ley. Published by Thomas Nelson.
Photo by Olivia Snow on Unsplash
