Beauty From Ashes
By Mel (30)
I came from a Christian home, and our family attended church every week. My dad was a farmer, and the farm was his number one priority. I knew he loved me, but the farm always came before a personal relationship with me.
One Father’s Day, I remember asking if, as a family, we could all go bowling. He very quickly dismissed the idea saying he had too many jobs to do on the farm. At the time, I didn’t realise the significance of that instance. I think, subconsciously, I began to believe that if I couldn’t receive the attention I craved from my father, then I could find it in boys instead. At the age of 17 I wound up pregnant to my boyfriend. My parents were horrified to learn of my pregnancy.
My dad started to go out on the farm earlier in the morning, just so he wouldn’t have to face me. And he would get in late at night, so he didn’t have to talk to me. My mum was wonderful, and we had heart-to-hearts every day. But the trust between her and I was broken too. I walked into my room one day to find her reading my diaries, desperately trying to find the daughter she had once known. A part of me understood, but the other part of me now felt I had no one to turn to.
My friends couldn’t relate to a 17-year-old mum to be, and my parents were struggling to get their own heads around it. It was at this moment I realised only one person knew my heart better than I did, and that was Jesus. I began to talk to Him every day in the car on my way to work, and I would listen to worship music whenever I could. I came to the realisation that God had a wonderful plan for this baby! I might have altered the path I was walking on, but this God I knew was restorative. He still had a plan for me, and He had an amazing plan for my baby.
Fast forward 12 years and I am now married with three precious boys. I am in a job where I work with young, single mothers who are struggling with parenting.
As I look back, I can see how God has pieced together my story to bring me to this place, the place He always wanted me to be. And instead of shying away from my story, I share it in the hope of helping others see that Jesus brings beauty from ashes. And while sometimes things don’t go how we think they should, God always has a plan.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.
Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)
PROMPT: Is there a part of you that feels broken and beyond repair? Is there a wound that cries out for the love of a father? Is there a longing inside that you’ve tried to fill with the love and acceptance of others? Name these broken pieces and imagine yourself placing each one in the hands of the Father.
PRAYER: Father, I know that you do not turn away from my brokenness; You are drawn to it. You are able to create beauty from ashes and make a masterpiece from mess. I give you the broken pieces of my life. I ask your forgiveness for the mistakes I’ve made and for trying to fill my emptiness in my own way. I ask that You restore me, and I trust You to write a beautiful redemptive story on the canvas of my life.
