From Hamster Wheel to Being Still
By Sharlene (48)
I am an avid box ticker. I love getting things done quickly, efficiently, and to an exceptional standard. But even more than that, I want to do everything perfectly, so that no-one has a reason to say anything negative about me or the work I do. I desire to be beyond criticism. To add to this, I am friendly, a passionate connector, and want to make sure that everyone around me is happy. I try to read the situation, interpret how people might be feeling, and do everything within my power to ensure they have a positive experience.
It is this toxic cocktail that sees me constantly busy, and bouncing back quickly from adversity with another solution and associated 'to do' list – all in an effort to realign my world again and keep those around me in their ‘happy place’.
I was on a hamster wheel with this pattern of behaviour. This perception that by 'doing' I could control my circumstances, and the feelings of those around me just kept me busy. But, I’ve recently discovered that no matter what I do, there are some things that I'll never make right for others. And, even more than that, I'm not actually responsible for others’ happiness, nor am I responsible for the way they choose to respond.
All I'm responsible for is me, and making sure that my thoughts, actions, and responses come from a pure heart. The rest is up to them. This discovery was truly liberating and has changed the way I view and respond to my world.
I needed to learn how to stop, live in the moment, and experience the peace that comes from embracing life for what it is, and allowing joy to infuse me. This is what God intended for us. I needed to stop taking on things that were never mine to take on.
The hamster wheel had to go!
Psalm 46:10 (NIV) says, 'Be still and know that I am God.’ God has wired us to slow down. Neuroscientists can now prove that if you have a grateful, positive ‘Isn’t that beautiful?’ moment, you need to savour it for a minimum of 15 seconds for it to imprint on the brain. We need to sit with those things that bring us joy, take them in, and let them change us.
This is something I need to remind myself of constantly, as my pattern of pace and people-pleasing is so ingrained. At times, I get my hamster wheel back out of its box, set it back up, and off I go again, defaulting to these old patterns of behaviour of busyness, box-ticking, and trying to manage others’ feelings, particularly when I’m tired. And all over again, I forget about the simplicity of only taking on what’s mine to take on, and the liberating joy I receive from slowing down, being still, and savouring moments of beauty.
Each time I fall back into these old habits, I am reminded of the last words my dad wrote to me in an e-mail before he passed away in 2009; the words of a special man who knew me well:
I read your email to Mum. It sounds like you are still busy. Are you taking time out to smell the roses? I heard you got run down awhile back. You know life's not all about doing. God tells us to look after ourselves, and take time out to rest. You will be no good to anyone if you have a physical breakdown, so take time for yourself. Rest in His presence, have a coffee break, relax, and enjoy what He has blessed you with. ‘Be still and know that I am God,’ also means ‘Be still and rest awhile.’ We all need to slow down sometimes. And remember, I love you very much. Love ya, DAD XXXXXXXX
These very moments where we stop and learn to be still is where joy is found; they are truly a gift that enable us to add perspective to our lives.
May we always remember this gift of being still.
PROMPT: Reflect on Psalm 46:10 (NIV), ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ Are there times in your life when you need to learn to slow down, be still and notice? Ask God to prompt you by His Spirit to take a moment to stop and imprint joy on your heart by savouring the beauty around you.
PRAYER: Father, as I go throughout the day, please keep me in tune with You. Prompt me to be still and take time to imprint your beauty and blessings within my heart.
