Letting Go of the Fear of Criticism
By Alisha Renee
When we are afraid, we hide. We hide our gifts, we hide our smile, we hide our words, and we hide the passion that quietly burns in our soul. When we hide these things, we also hide life, we hide light, and we hide the truth that the Spirit of God may use to set someone free. The enemy uses our fear of criticism to hold us captive and to shut us up.
My beautiful sisters, it’s time to let go of the fear of criticism. Yes, people might misunderstand you. Yes, people might judge you for your efforts. Yes, you might even make mistakes that people notice and point out to you. But what about the people who need to hear that song? What about the person who will find hope from hearing your testimony? What about the one who will find courage because you risked vulnerability and shared your story? What about that student who will no longer feel alone because you started that group? What about that girl who finally feels like someone cares because you reached out when no one else would? And what about all you will learn from the journey because you dared to try?
One thing I’ve learned about the fear of criticism is that it is closely linked to a yearning for approval. You can’t live a life that says, ‘I’m not going to allow critical words to shut me up,’ if you still seek the praise of people.
I vividly remember sitting at our kitchen bench with a cry in my heart to go deeper with God. I could sense Him calling me into a closer, stronger walk with Him. I knew something was holding me back. I was tired of dealing with the same stuff and going around the same mountain. I knew I needed to let go of worrying about what people think of me. Wondering what people thought, second-guessing my words and actions, and replaying conversations in my head like a slow-motion video was draining my energy and distracting my focus. As I sat there, the Lord gave me a picture of a chain that was holding me back. I knew the chain was fear of criticism. The Lord then beautifully and gently spoke to me. He said,
‘I’ve already done the work. I’ve already set you free. The work I did on the cross was enough to break the power of these chains, but Alisha, you need to let go.’
In that moment I knew that the chains were only holding me back because I was holding onto them. The Lord continued to speak,
‘To let go of criticism is not enough. You also need to let go of people’s praise. You can’t move on until you let go of the chains of both criticism and praise.’
I was not expecting that.
Nor did I really want to hear it. I was happy to let go of criticism, but to let go of praise? Praise felt good. I knew what the Lord spoke to me was true. It was time to let go. And that was something I had to do for myself.
I would like to say that this was the moment when I was completely freed from my lifetime struggle with worrying about what people think of me. But it wasn’t. It was, however, a defining moment—a moment I can look back on and remind myself that I chose to be done with dancing to the beat of people’s opinions. This was the moment when I chose to let go of those chains. I chose to embrace the work of the cross and all Jesus did to set me free from the shackles of shame. I chose to listen to the rhythm of His song awakening my soul to live alive. His song is one of acceptance and love. It’s a song that says I am His daughter, and I am loved. And that’s enough.
My fearless sisters, let’s move to a different beat. What song is the Lord awakening in your heart? If you let go of the chains of both criticism and praise, you might just hear what His Spirit is whispering to yours.
PROMPT: When the applause dies away and you’re left standing in the absence of praise, or in the presence of criticism, are you OK? Journal your response to this question.
