He Knows Me
By Alisha Renee
‘I’m never going to be a teacher.’
Famous last words. So how did I end up in a classroom when it was the last profession on earth I wanted to be in? Simple. My heavenly Father knows me, far better than I know myself.
When I was 16, I wanted to be a physiotherapist. Inspired by a movie I’d seen, I knew this was the career for me because I wanted to help people heal, especially when they didn’t believe it was possible. With my direction set, I took all the subjects I needed as pre-requisites for studying physio. The hard work didn’t bother me; I loved to study.
After a few weeks in Year 11, I started to feel the pressure. I needed to talk with someone before I suffocated under the weight of my own high expectations. So, after church one Sunday, I approached Sarah. Sarah was our school captain, and I knew she would understand the awkward dance of managing time constraints while striving for excellence. After we finished talking together, almost as an afterthought, Sarah asked, ‘What do want to do when you finish school?’
Proud of my chosen profession, I confidently replied, ‘I want to be a physiotherapist.’
‘I’d like to pray about that.’
So she did. I remember her praying, ‘Lord, if this is the desire You have for Alisha, may it become stronger, and if it isn’t, take it away and replace it with the desire You have for her.’
I actually thought it was a bit of a strange prayer, and I soon forgot about it.
Later that week, while walking past the TV, I noticed in the ad break that a movie was soon screening called The Power of One. I’d never heard of it, but I had a strange sense that I needed to watch it. I hadn’t watched TV all year – too busy with studies and church commitments – but the sense was strong. So, when the movie finally aired, I settled on the floor of our lounge with my latest assignment spread in front of me. I hate wasting time, so I figured I could watch and work. I didn’t work for long.
I wasn’t expecting to be captivated by the storyline, and I wasn’t expecting to be confronted with my life’s direction in one powerfully moving scene. PK, the main character, was teaching literacy to those whose access was limited due to racial inequality. As I watched him teaching his students to read and write, I felt soft tears flow down my face. I didn’t understand why. I just knew something was shifting.
The next morning, as soon as my eyes opened, I was arrested by a thought, I’m going to be a teacher. I had no idea where that came from! All I knew was that it came with a certainty that was anchored in the core of my being. And what surprised me more was that I was excited by it! I threw off the covers and ran to tell Mum. She was so shocked by my sudden change of direction but supported my decision.
I then remembered Sarah’s prayer.
Within a week, my heavenly Father had answered. He had replaced my desire with His. I was amazed at how He had guided my heart. The desire to study physio immediately left, and the desire to teach took up residence.
So, instead of crippled bodies, I work with crippled self-esteems. Instead of teaching physical exercises, I teach literacy lessons. Instead of encouraging muscles, I encourage hearts and minds. Instead of helping people believe in their ability to walk, I help them believe in their ability to learn. I love what I do, and my heavenly Father knew I would.
At times, teaching has felt too hard, and I’ve walked away to try different things. But it isn’t long before I miss the classroom. The One who knows me best gently takes my hand and leads me back to the place where I thrive. He hands me my whiteboard marker, refuels my heart, and nudges me back into the arena of teaching.
And I’m glad.
PROMPT: Read Psalm 34:8. What is it that you desire to do or be? Surrender this to your heavenly Father. Delight in Him above everything else in your life, and ask Him to align the desires of your heart with the desires of His.
PRAYER: Father, I don’t know what’s best for my future, but You do. You wove me together in my mother’s womb, and You planted gifts and talents in the core of my being. You know me best. You know what hurts me, moves me, encourages me, and inspires me. You know what makes me come alive, and what sets my soul on fire. Today, I give You the desires of my heart. I ask that You nurture the seeds of desire already there, and if they are not what’s best for me, uproot them and replace them with fresh seeds from your hand. Above all, may my desire for You always outweigh my desire for anything or anyone else.
