This is Me
By Alisha Renee
Sometimes I compare myself to people. More often though, my struggle is most intense when I compare myself to the person I think I should be. This ideal image of who I should be has taunted me for most of my life, and the area it has affected me most is in my role as a mum.
Every mother I talk to wants to be the best mum they can be for their kids. The problem often lies, however, in painting a picture in our minds of what the perfect mum looks like and then striving to be like this mystical woman who is a combination of all the best parenting tips we’ve heard and the beautiful mothers we’ve seen around us.
To me, the perfect mum was someone who did craft with her kids, baked cookies to bless friends and neighbours, and she never raised her voice. Her kids were always polite, respectful and greeted her with a good morning kiss each day. The ideal mum always had her hair done, the house tidy, maintained a trim figure and dressed beautifully. I think the only thing this perfect mum didn’t do was sew, because frankly that was never going to happen for me!
I think this image was created from a range of places. Books influenced this; a Little Golden Book I read as a child, as well as a wide range of Christian books that I’ve read on my quest to become the best mum I could be. And how can I forget the good old Proverbs 31 woman? Am I the only one who has despised this woman at some point? Thankfully, I have a deeper understanding of this passage now, and I’ve grown to love her. My image of a perfect mum was also influenced by women speakers at conferences, talks on Christian radio and, of course, other mums. Is it any wonder I spent so much of my early mothering in tears?
There is no way I could measure up to this ideal mum. For me, coming alive started with identifying the kind of mum I am and learning to embrace her.
I’m a mum who loves to sing. There is a song for almost any word, and I’m always happy to share these songs at full volume! I have quite a repertoire of random songs. My son once came to me and said, ‘Mum, I need to ask you something, and I know what you are going to say....I can’t find my comb.’ He knew what was coming. Inspired by Larry the Cucumber, I launched into one of my regular numbers, ‘Oh where is my hairbrush? Nate smiled. He knows me well.
My kids can also count on me to break out in expressive dance moves to all my favourite songs. Rebel Sport once became my stage when a song came over the loudspeaker that I knew Zumba® moves to. I just had to show my sister, who was with me at the time. I seem to have a habit of forgetting other people may be around when I’m lost in the moment of expressing myself in song and dance. A group of random 20-year-old guys walked past. They saw me breaking out my favourite Zumba® routine. After a brief moment of embarrassment and thinking, Oh well, I won’t ever see them again, one came back and asked me to dance! So I did!
This is who I am. This is what I do. This is me.
I love parties, celebrations, and I also love to read, muse, write, and think in quiet. This is me. I love seeing what my kids’ interests are and creating opportunities to invest in developing these. I’ll drive all over town to experience the joy of watching them grow in what they love. This is me.
And so, I still can’t sew. Occasionally I might fight with a needle to sew a button back on, after the respective item has been held together with a safety pin for several months, or I’ll pay my daughter to do it. I’m OK with that. I can admire other mums’ ability, and I know it doesn’t mean I have to be that mum.
Story from Awaken - Finding Joy in Becoming Who You Were Created to Be
Prompt: What picture have you painted in your mind of who you think you ‘should be’? It’s time to let that image go. Let’s celebrate who you are! Write down all the things you enjoy and the things that make you uniquely you!
What makes you laugh?
What smells do you love?
What do you like to do with your family or friends?
What are some of the things you do well?
How do you like to show people you care?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
What do you let yourself enjoy doing when no one is watching?
Prayer: Father, thank you for making me ‘me’. I am the right mum for my kids, and I am enough. Help me to delight in simply being who I am. As I let go of comparison, let me fall in love with the person you made me to be.
Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash
