Held
By Tamsin
I rode a rollercoaster of emotions. I was surprised to find out that I was pregnant with our third baby. Surprise, and a bit of shock, soon turned to excited expectation. Then, at 14 weeks into my pregnancy, the midwife couldn’t hear a heartbeat.
I went to get an ultrasound to see what was going on with the baby's heartbeat that we had heard at 12 weeks. The radiologist confirmed the worst—our baby's heart was no longer beating. I was miscarrying. A sense of confusion and numbness set in as there were no signs of miscarriage at that stage. For days I didn’t know what was going on, as nothing was changing with my body. I told God that I believed in miracles and that He could start the baby’s heartbeat again.
Six days later, I was desperate for an answer as to whether I would be getting that miracle or coming to terms with not having this baby. On a Monday morning I asked God to show me that day what I needed to accept and move forward with. I started bleeding that afternoon. It was an answer, but not the one I had been hoping for.
Miraculously, I had God's strength and peace as I walked through one of the most heart-wrenching times of my life. I could tangibly feel the Lord’s arms around me, holding me as I’m sure He was holding our baby. Through the heartache and pain of delivering baby Zion Faith, I felt God so incredibly close to me. I was not going through it alone. He understood and held me through it, and continues to hold me now.
We don’t always get the answers we want or know the ‘why’ behind things that happen, but we can remain confident in knowing that the Lord is with us through it all.
We are not alone. He holds us, and He cares.
PROMPT: Our Father knew this life would bring us pain and that we sometimes wouldn’t understand, so He promised something beautiful, something sure, something we can count on—His comfort. Here are some verses to help you lean into the Father’s comfort today: Psalm 23:4, 2 Corinthians 1:3, Psalm 34:18.
PRAYER: Father, when I walk through heart-wrenching pain, please lead me to Your comforting arms. Help me to accept that life hurts sometimes and to release all my pain to You, so I can move forward with Your strength and peace. Thank you for Your blanket of comfort.
Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash
