Learning to Trust
By Rachel (14)
Lonely. Unsupported. Ignored. Nothingness. Worried. These five words best describe what I experienced most during 2019. If I had to string them all together and choose one word to sum up my year, it would be ‘brokenness.’ The year was a rollercoaster. I felt good when each day started, and bad once the day was done. I constantly felt broken.
One thing that made me start to look up and feel less broken was the speech I wrote. I called it, ‘Jars.’ The way I see it, everyone is like a jar. Jars have different things inside them, they can be labelled… and they can be broken. I wanted to put a personal story into my speech, so I actually had to work out some things about myself. The hardest part to write was how, like jars, we can be broken. If I wanted to explain what brokenness was, I had to figure out why I felt broken.
I knew some of the reasons why I felt broken. I have almost always felt lonely, unsupported, ignored, like nothing, and worried. But the big reason, I realised, was that I wasn’t depending on God. I’m a person who doesn’t trust many people. I put up lots of walls and prefer not to depend on anybody. That was coming into my relationship with God. When my mum gave me the first draft of ‘My Faith Journey’ to trial, I started to spend more time with God. I came to trust Him more.
Everyone is on their own journey of faith. To be honest, I’m still on my journey of discovering more about God and what faith is. There are still those times when I completely forget about Him and try to work things out myself. If you feel like you are broken at the moment, then I encourage you to try and find out more about God. Start your journey of faith. God is the only one who can fix broken things.
PROMPT: Read 1 Peter 5:10-11. What message is your Heavenly Father whispering to your heart in this moment?
PRAYER: Father, I’m still learning to trust you and depend on you. In those moments when I feel lonely, worried, forgotten and unsupported, remind me of the truth in your Word. Remind me of who you are. You’re my Heavenly Dad, and you love it when I come to you with broken things for you to fix. Thank you for Your grace that accepts and loves me wherever I am on my faith journey.
